The Brides of March

OK, you have to be a Shakespeare geek to get the title pun, but I couldn't help myself.  If you want to understand the joke, just refer to the play, Julius Caesar. 

3 days.  1 videographer.  5 celebratory meals.  15 bridal gowns.  150 photos.  200 pounds of fruit.  400 guests.  And 6 lady boys.  That's all it takes to pull off a Cambodian wedding.  The astonishing part is that all the plans take place in a matter of weeks since engagements only last a month or two. 

 

The wedding ceremony took place on Friday morning.  We began with the procession of guests walking down the street, carrying bowls of fruit to the wedding site, in this case, the bride's house.  Then, we sat in chairs under a tent to watch the ritual.  I thought the weddings would be more religious, but they are almost completely devoid of Buddhist rituals and seem more influenced by Khmer culture and tradition.  The actual marriage takes place in a matter of minutes.  The rest of the time, there are two emcees (a male and a female) who talk forever, trying to make witty banter like they are on a variety show or something.  It's really weird. 

 

Instead of a flower girl, they have a young boy and girl who walk down the aisle with wicker baskets and fill them with pieces of fruit from the guests which they then present to the bride and groom's parents.  The children always look petrified and can't wait to go sit back down.  After the ceremony, the guests make a big pile of the fruit.  Sometimes, they serve some of it to the guests as desert after the meal.  I don't know what happens to the rest of it.  It's obviously more than two families can eat before it rots.  Perhaps, they give it to friends or donate it.

Cambodians are notorious for arriving late to functions, so I purposely showed up a half hour late to the dinner on Friday.  I went alone since Cynthia didn't want to go.  As soon as I walked in, I knew I had made a big mistake. There were only a dozen people, all family members, sitting quietly together at two tables.  Not a single teacher was present.  There were no drinks, food, music, or anything.  Clearly, the party was not going to start for a while.  I stood there awkwardly for a minute, weighing my options:  I could just sit down at a table by myself, just leave for a while, or call Laum and tell him to get his butt over there. 
                           
To my relief, the mother-in-law saw my distress, came over, grabbed my arm, and ushered me upstairs to Mea-Lea's room where she was getting her hair and make-up done.  She welcomed me in and offered to have one of the lady-boys do my hair, but I was content to just sit there and watch the process.  I was pleased to see that Sisophon is a big enough town to have a population of gays and transsexuals who are not afraid to "come out."  I have been wondering about that for a while since there are a couple boys at school who are going to have to face these issues in their future.
                           
The lady boys were not only wizards with hair and make-up, they were fun and friendly.  Since there were six, sometimes they didn't have anything to do, and I watched them amuse themselves.  One guy danced around the room like the female Thai dancers.  Another one took a photo of me and him on is phone, giggled wildly, and immediately posted it on his facebook page.  I think they were as interested in me as I was by me as I was by them.  This one must have started taking hormones because she had tiny budding beasts.  She used her free time to create a facial moisturizing mask with thin banana slices.
                           
One of my favorite students was in the wedding party, and she wore a different dress each day.  They were pretty, sparkly, fairy dresses.  Since they rent all the dresses, they don't fit exactly.  This one was a size or two too big for her, so she kept tugging up the top.

Mea-Lea looked stunning in all her gowns, but I liked her traditional purple dress the most.  The groom and groomsmen wore matching suits that were the same color, only a shade lighter, so they too had also had many clothing changes:  from white, to pale yellow, to baby blue, to lavender, etc.

The groom's parents pay for the weddings; it's called the "bride price."  Mea-Lea dated her husband for years, and they really seem in love.  Her mother-in-law initially did approve of her because the groom's family is Chinese, and Mea-Lea is Cambodian.  The Chinese, in general, often have more money and consider themselves higher class than the Cambodians.  I guess she finally accepted Mea-Lea because before a couple can get married they both have to get approval from their parents. 

The dinner celebration on Saturday was the most fun.  It took place at a huge outdoor restaurant that was covered on top.  There was a live band who started the evening with a few American songs such as Black Magic Woman, but then continued with traditional Khmer wedding music.  I took part in the dance around the table.  The food was good and plentiful.  Mea-Lea made sure they brought me a special vegetarian dish with noodles and vegetables.